Why You’re Always Exhausted (And 4 Hidden Causes You Can Fix Today)
Are you exhausted? Not just tired — I mean the kind of exhaustion where no amount of sleep helps. The kind where you could just cry and you don’t even know why. If that sounds familiar, know you’re not alone. In this post I’m going to talk about why you feel this way and, more importantly, what to do about it.
We’re going deep — but not into sleep hygiene or caffeine. You already know those basics. We’re going deeper: what’s actually keeping you up, keeping you drained, keeping your light dimmed.
There are four big causes I want to name: cognitive overload, decision fatigue, emotional labor, and the always-on expectation. Let’s unpack each one, with simple things you can try today.
1) Cognitive overload — your brain has too many tabs open
Think of your brain like a browser with a thousand tabs open. You’re the administrative assistant to your whole life: remembering doctor’s appointments, other people’s schedules, grocery lists, deadlines — everything. That constant input slows you down. Your mental processing glitches. You get fatigued.
Why we do it: holding onto everything gives us a false sense of control in a world that feels out of control. But it’s doing more harm than good.
What to do about it
Do a nightly brain dump — write everything down so you don’t have to hold it in your head.
Keep a to-do list outside your brain (paper, app — whatever works).
Close mental tabs: decide what you must keep open and what you can let go of.
Create boundaries around incoming information — protect your attention like the asset it is.
2) Decision fatigue — too many choices, all day long
Every day you make hundreds of tiny decisions: what to wear, what to eat, elevator or stairs. Each choice takes energy. By dinner, you’ve run out of decision gas — and sometimes that’s when you cry because you can’t fathom deciding what’s for supper.
This has only gotten worse: more options, more noise, more scrolling. (Choosing something on Netflix? Brutal.)
What to do about it
Build routines so fewer decisions are needed (morning/bedtime routines with your family, for example).
Limit options. If you’re drained, offer two choices — not ten. Two meal options for dinner. Two outfit options.
Declutter your life and calendar — fewer choices = less fatigue.
Prioritize with your values. When in doubt, run the choice through your top value(s) — family, health, calm — and choose what aligns.
3) Emotional labor — carrying the invisible load
If you’re highly sensitive or the person who “keeps an eye on everyone,” you’re probably doing a lot of emotional labor: anticipating others’ needs, reading social cues, managing relationships. These are gifts — but they’re also depleting.
If you’re constantly attuned to other people, when are you attuned to yourself?
What to do about it
Notice where emotional attunement is draining you. Awareness is the first step.
Set emotional boundaries: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Saying no or stepping back to preserve your energy is not selfish — it’s necessary.
Model boundaries kindly and clearly; how others react is not your responsibility.
Practice self-compassion. Being more affected by emotions is not a weakness — it’s a strength. Treat it as one.
4) The always-on expectation — we feel guilty for resting
We live in a culture that applauds constant output. Being “on” is normalized. Rest feels indulgent or wrong. Plus: everything is monetized now — even hobbies get judged: “Are you going to monetize that?” (No — I just want to crochet in peace.)
You can’t be 100% all the time. You will have ups and downs — and that’s healthy. But we’ve been taught to ignore those natural cycles.
What to do about it
Redefine rest. It’s not optional. It’s how you do better work, think clearly, and show up for people you love.
Disconnect intentionally — turn things off, even for a short while.
Schedule rest like an appointment. If you don’t protect it, it won’t happen.
Remind yourself: if you don’t rest, you’ll fall behind anyway — because a tired brain doesn’t work well.
Quick practical checklist (do one thing today)
Do a 10-minute brain dump before bed.
Pick two dinner options and ask someone else to choose.
Say “no” to one emotional request this week or set a clear boundary with a friend/family member.
Turn notifications off for an hour and go for a short walk.
Final note — you are not broken
If you’re feeling soul-crushingly exhausted, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your life and workload are asking more from you than is sustainable. The solution isn’t more discipline; it’s less to do, clearer boundaries, and better protection of your energy.
Rest isn’t a luxury — it’s the baseline for everything else. Without it, your light dims. With it, you think clearer, love better, and do work that actually matters.
If any of this landed with you, I’d love to hear it. What’s one tiny thing you can do this week to close a mental tab, simplify a choice, or protect your energy? Share in the comments — let’s talk about what actually helps.
Watch the full video version of this blog here: Why We're All So Exhausted