The Power of Asking for What You Need
Today, I want to talk about something that trips up a lot of us: asking for what we need.
Why Asking Can Feel So Hard
We all know the feeling. You need something—help, support, guidance—but it’s hard to speak up. I recently had an experience that really highlighted this for me.
On Monday, I attended the Business Sisters conference in my area—a full-day event with incredible women in business who are making real change. One speaker, Vicky Saunders, really got me thinking. She talked about “ask and give,” emphasizing that we need to ask more for the things we need.
Vicky shared that even with her vast network, few people ever ask her for support. She described the fear many of us feel about being a burden, of taking up someone’s time, or feeling like our needs aren’t valid. And yet, when someone asks us for help, most of us love it. I know I do.
Seeing It in Action
During the conference, we did an activity where people stood up and made an “ask,” and anyone able to help could offer support. Some of the asks were huge.
For example, one woman dreams of translating a DreamWorks film into French. I thought, who could possibly help with that? But Vicky immediately offered to connect her with someone in animation at DreamWorks. Just like that, a seemingly impossible ask had a pathway.
Other asks were smaller but equally meaningful: someone wanted support to start a YouTube channel, another needed help with a training program. And I was able to offer support for the YouTube channel because I have experience there.
It was inspiring to see the magic that can happen when people actually ask.
Asking Is a Learned Skill
I think part of why asking is so hard—especially for women—is that we’re often socialized not to. From a young age, we’re taught to manage on our own, not impose, and not make a fuss. Over time, this translates into adulthood: we hesitate to ask for what we need at work, at home, or in our communities.
Compare this to men, who often ask for what they need—funding, promotions, opportunities—with far less hesitation. It’s not just about confidence; it’s about how society teaches us to navigate asking.
Even small asks count. Want to sleep in on Saturday? Need someone to take your child to an activity? Ask. Big or small, it matters.
The Art of Receiving
Asking isn’t the only step. We also need to be able to receive. Many of us struggle with this—pushing away support, downplaying our own needs, or feeling guilty when someone offers help. But learning to accept support is just as important as asking for it.
Being willing to ask and receive opens doors, both personally and professionally. At the conference, when I spoke about slow motherhood and connecting with like-minded individuals, I was amazed by the response. Several people reached out afterward, offering collaboration, support, and opportunities to share this message further.
Asking as a Mother, as a Woman, as a Human
This applies beyond business. As mothers, we often self-sacrifice, putting others’ needs first. But not asking keeps us from receiving. Whether it’s asking your partner to take on a household task, requesting help from a friend, or pursuing a big dream, asking is essential.
Walk through life with the confidence of someone who has survived motherhood, navigated challenges, and is still present for their family and themselves. That’s no small feat—you’ve already proven you can handle a lot.
Takeaway: Ask, Give, and Build Your Village
So here’s my encouragement to you:
Ask for what you need, big or small.
Be prepared to receive support.
Give support when others ask.
Build a “village” where everyone can lean on each other.
Asking isn’t weakness. It’s creating space for connection, growth, and collaboration.
A Gentle Invitation
I’d love for you to reflect: Are there things you need but haven’t asked for yet? Opportunities, help, or even small gestures that could make your life smoother? Consider what’s possible when you simply speak up.
And if you ever want to connect with me—chat, ask questions, or explore an idea—just reach out. You never know what could happen when you ask.