Do We Put Too Much Emphasis on Work?
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much importance we place on work, jobs, and careers—and how that can actually be harmful to our wellbeing.
How We Define Ourselves
Think about what happens when someone asks, “Tell me a bit about yourself.”
Most of us immediately default to our work:
“I’m Émilie, I’m a therapist.”
“I work in this industry.”
“I do this kind of job.”
Only after that do we maybe add, “I love to travel, I have a family, I enjoy [fill in the blank].”
It’s such a common script in North America, but in other parts of the world, it’s not the same. If you only answered, “I’m a therapist,” people might respond, “Okay, but that’s what you do—not who you are.”
Here, though, work has become tied so tightly to our identity that it often feels like the most important part of who we are.
The Problem With Overidentifying With Work
When your identity is wrapped up in your career, it creates challenges:
If you lose your job or get laid off, it can throw you into a tailspin.
You might push yourself to succeed to the detriment of your health.
Burnout becomes almost inevitable.
And this starts young.
Prepping Kids for “The Real World”
We prime kids for the work world from the very beginning.
In kindergarten: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
In high school: “Figure out your career path.”
In university or college: “Invest years and thousands of dollars—hope you like it!”
But the reality? You might not like it. You might pivot. You might decide this isn’t the path for you.
And then you face the sunk cost fallacy: “I already put in four years and so much money, so I might as well stick it out.” Even if it’s not the right fit.
That pressure can make people feel stuck, like there’s no escape.
A Better Question: What Do You Value?
As a therapist, I’ve learned to stop asking clients only about what job they want. Career satisfaction isn’t just about job titles—it’s about alignment.
What do you truly value?
What kind of life do you want to lead?
Does this career support that life?
Because here’s the truth: work is meant to fund your life, not be your life.
It should pay the bills, yes, but also allow space for hobbies, travel, creativity, rest—the things that bring real fulfillment.
The Reality of Modern Work
The problem is, work demands have increased so much that by the time many of us get home, we’re exhausted.
When I ask people about their hobbies, I often hear, “I’m too tired. I just scroll or fall asleep on the couch.”
That used to be me, too. Even when I wasn’t working as a therapist—back when I was just pushing papers—I was constantly tired and constantly thinking about work.
My Background With Work
It feels ironic to say all this because so much of my career has actually revolved around work itself.
I was an employment counselor and job developer.
I worked at a college supporting students in their studies and career planning.
I even worked as a recruiter.
So yes, I know how big of a role work plays in our lives. But I also know it’s not meant to be the only role.
Final Thoughts
Work matters. But it’s not your entire identity. And when society tells us otherwise, it’s no wonder so many people feel burnt out, stuck, or unsure of who they are outside of their job title.
I’d love to hear from you: How do you see work fitting into your identity? Do you feel it’s too emphasized in our culture?
Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your perspective.
Watch the full video version of this blog here: Why You Need a Life Beyond Work