Life Doesn’t Happen to You—It Happens With You
For years, I thought life just happened to me. Expectations, deadlines, and that invisible pressure to always do more and be more—it felt constant.
But one mindset shift changed everything:
Life doesn’t happen to you. It happens with you. And you get to decide how you show up for it.
If you’ve been chasing a version of success that doesn’t feel like yours—or you’re stuck in the rat race, maybe even burning out—I want to share the perspective that shifted everything for me.
The Quote That Changed Everything
When I transitioned into private practice, I was reading Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown.
There was one quote in particular that landed like a gut punch:
“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”
Most of my life had been exactly that—I let other people, jobs, and expectations dictate how I was living. I wasn’t aligned with what mattered to me. I was living by society’s script, not my own values.
And when you live that way, you end up on autopilot. You default to what’s expected of you instead of creating a life that feels like yours.
The Trap of “Life Happens to Me”
When you believe life is just happening to you, it’s easy to slip into a victim mindset. That’s where I lived for a long time.
“Why do I always get the jobs that burn me out?”
“Why am I always exhausted?”
“Why don’t my relationships work?”
I blamed the bosses. The jobs. The circumstances. And sure, those things were difficult. But when I sat in that woe-is-me mindset, I gave up my power.
The truth? It’s disempowering to believe you have no control.
Taking Back Control
Here’s the shift: while there will always be things outside of your control, there are so many things you do have influence over.
You can apply for a new job.
You can leave unhealthy relationships.
You can define success differently.
You don’t have to follow the prescribed path—school, marriage, house, kids—unless that’s what you truly want. Forcing yourself into society’s version of success leads to burnout and resentment.
Hustle Culture Doesn’t Lead to Success
We’re told that hustling harder will get us further—more recognition, more money, more opportunities.
But as a therapist specializing in burnout, I’ve seen the opposite. Hustle doesn’t equal success. It equals exhaustion, bitterness, and being used.
I lived that story myself. Giving 110% didn’t earn me more—it just drained me.
Choosing the Overgrown Path
Society’s paved path is clear. It’s mapped out with neat little milestones and expectations. But if that road doesn’t lead where you want to go, why keep walking it?
There’s another path—the overgrown one. It’s less traveled. It doesn’t have markers or a map. It can feel scary. But it’s also full of possibility.
That’s the path that leads to the life you actually want to live.
Small Shifts, Big Change
The power isn’t in overhauling your entire life overnight. It’s in small, meaningful actions:
Setting boundaries
Aligning your energy with what matters
Defining success on your own terms
When my mentorship clients start doing this, they’re often surprised: “I didn’t realize how many areas of my life I could change with small actions.”
And that’s where empowerment lives—in the little choices you make every day.
This Is Your Life to Live
You only get one life. Don’t let someone else prioritize it for you.
Yes, people will question you. They’ll encourage you back onto the paved path. But if you don’t want the life they’re living, why follow their advice?
At the end of the day, the only person who knows what’s right for you—is you.
A Gentle Invitation
So let me ask:
Where are you walking down society’s paved path, even though it doesn’t feel right?
What small shift could you make today to step onto your own overgrown path?
I’d love to hear your reflections. Share them in the comments—I truly believe these conversations are where we find courage to live differently.
Watch the full video version of this blog here: The Mindset Shift That Helped Me Escape Hustle Culture