Slowing Down the Holidays: Supporting Ourselves and Our Children
This week, I’m sharing some key points that came up during a recent podcast episode I recorded with my good friend Natasha, who’s a child development consultant. We talked about the upcoming holidays and how to support both our children and ourselves as mothers.
The Hidden Overwhelm of Holiday Gatherings
Holiday parties can be magical, but they also come with noise, crowds, bright lights, new faces, and a disruption to routines.
Overstimulation doesn’t always show up as tantrums or tears. Sometimes it’s clinginess, irritability, shutting down, or that glazed-over look that tells you their little nervous system is fried.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
Creating a Softer Landing for Kids
One thing Natasha has learned is that supporting children during the holidays isn’t just about preventing big emotions—it’s about giving them tools and space to move through those moments safely.
A few gentle ways to do that:
Ease into gatherings
Arriving a bit early can make the transition easier. Kids can adjust before the room fills up, instead of being hit with twenty voices at once.
Protect their boundaries
Your child isn’t rude for not wanting to hug a distant relative. You can simply say,
“They’ll say hello when they’re ready.”
No shame, no pressure. Just respect.
Create an escape space
Natasha always looks for a quiet room, a hallway, or even a backyard where her kids can take a break. Bringing familiar items—a toy, a blanket, headphones—can make these moments grounding instead of stressful.
Have calming tools ready
Breathing, tapping, humming, rolling on the floor… you never know which tool will click. It’s normal to experiment until you find what helps your child regulate.
Supporting Ourselves as Parents
Kids aren’t the only ones who get overwhelmed. Sometimes we reach that point even before we leave the house.
The mental checklist is endless: gifts, food, naps, outfits, routines, driving between houses, remembering who likes what… and then trying to show up “festive” on top of it.
I’ve learned to build buffers into my day:
packing part of the car the night before
pausing for a few minutes of deep breathing before heading out
lowering the pressure around timing
letting myself reset in a quiet space when I need it
These aren’t luxuries—they’re necessities. When we regulate ourselves, our kids feel safer and more grounded too.
Navigating Family Expectations With Confidence
Family dynamics can be a whole emotional landscape of their own. Some families have big traditions, others have firm expectations, and sometimes our parenting style stands out in ways we didn’t expect.
But advocating for your child’s emotional well-being is never something to be embarrassed about.
It’s okay to tell relatives ahead of time that your child may need breaks. It’s okay to say no to another gathering. It’s okay to leave early. It’s okay to prioritize your family’s peace over someone else’s expectations.
I’ve also found that when I speak up lovingly but confidently, people usually adjust. And even if they don’t—that’s not a reflection of my parenting.
Modeling What We Want Our Kids to Learn
One of the biggest reminders I’m taking into this holiday season is that our children learn boundaries and self-care by watching how we treat ourselves.
If I never rest, never say no, never take space, and constantly push myself to keep the peace… what message does that send?
But when I slow down, take breaks, ask for help, or choose the calmer option—even if it disappoints someone—I’m teaching my kids that their needs matter too.
That’s the kind of gift that lasts long after the holidays are over.
A Gentler December Is Possible
The holidays don’t have to be rushed, noisy, and overstimulating. They can be warm, soft, and connected—even with the chaos around us.
A calmer season might look like:
fewer events
slower mornings
saying no more often
leaving early when you need to
choosing presence over perfection
And most of all, remembering that a peaceful holiday isn’t about doing everything right—it’s about creating moments where everyone in your family feels safe, loved, and understood.
That’s the magic we’re really craving.